As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
