y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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