He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
