you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize