Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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