How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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