Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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