Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just pynch a tree in the face
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
