Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
