Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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