My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What a dumb baby whore.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
