The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
