what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
