If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
