I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
