I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
