The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
