what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
