For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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