i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
