Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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