I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize