Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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