I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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