No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
