I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
