would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The ass gains better be worth it
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