she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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