I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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