I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
