I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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