don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
