I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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