She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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