It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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