You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
as a side note pls kill me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
