even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
