so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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