Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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