who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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