It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize