I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
