honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We had sex on a dog bed..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
