i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
