it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize