If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
