For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
