Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
