it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
