Is it because I queefed?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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