she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
