When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
