I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
