The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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