There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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