I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
40s are totally the cure
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize