In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
