I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize